Shopping Disaster
by Durbe the Barian
Summary: For the fashion-addicted Rangiku, the fact that Toshiro had only the one outfit was a crime.


Bleach

Shopping Disaster

Humor

Toshiro, Rangiku

For the fashion-addicted Rangiku, the fact that Toshiro had only the one outfit was a crime.

(If I owned this stuff, you'd kill me.)

* * *

Shopping Disaster

* * *

"How about...this, Captain!?"

With a bright smile, Rangiku pulled a shirt out from the little boy's section of the store.

A shocking white and blue striped shirt with a star on the chest.

Toshiro could do little more than stare. "Are you insane?" he asked. "I couldn't go out in public in that kind of thing. Besides, why are we even doing this? It's not like I need a second shirt anyway."

"You need more than just a second shirt," Rangiku said, putting the shirt back with a huff. "You need a second outfit. I mean, you only have the one shirt and pants and you brought your pajamas from your room in the Soul Society."

"So? My current outfit is acceptable and my kosode is perfectly comfortable," Toshiro said. "Besides, it's not like people will come knocking at Inoue's door at three o'clock in the morning."

"That's no excuse, Captain," Rangiku responded. "No matter how you slice it, you need a second outfit. What would happen if people notice you're wearing the same shirt every day?"

"If people were that observant, they'd also notice the way your Soul Candy behaves," Toshiro mumbled. "So I wouldn't worry too much."

"But, Captain-"

Rangiku no longer had the ability to speak up, as Toshiro had to answer his Soul Pager.

Hollow attack. North Karakura, block 12.

"Continue shopping if you want, Matsumoto," Toshiro said, producing his Soul Candy, King, from his pocket. "I'm going to go handle that Hollow."

"But, Captain," Rangiku began to argue.

In the time it took to blink, Toshiro had taken his Soul Candy and was out of his gigai. "Don't let her dress you up," he told his gigai, stopping any further crazy plans that Rangiku might have thought up.

"Right," King responded, giving the Captain a small salute.

"But, Captain," Rangiku whined.

"Don't blow your whole paycheck on clothes, Matsumoto," Toshiro said simply. "I can't pay you until we get back to the Soul Society, you know."

Rangiku could only sigh as her Captain quickly left the store.

Once he was out of her sight, however, a mean grin formed on her face.

Boy, was he in for a terrifying surprise.

* * *

Toshiro didn't go back to the shop after the Hollow was destroyed. He rightly deduced that Rangiku had long since run out of ideas on clothing shortly after he left. So instead of wasting his time looking for her, he opted to go back to Orihime's apartment and take a quick break. He needed some tea anyway, so what did he have to lose?

A lot, as he found when he opened the door.

He had to blink a couple of times when he literally saw himself putting on outfits that would put Isshin Shiba to shame.

Among the many that he felt the urge to turn away and hope it was nothing more than a nightmare were:

A clown outfit.

A werewolf costume.

A sweater which she clearly took from the 'adult section.'

And - the absolute worst in Toshiro's opinion - a yellow shirt with a Pokemon face on it.

"Awww!" Rangiku squealed. "They're all so precious, I don't know which one would work!"

To say Toshiro was seething would have been the understatement in the Seireitei. Didn't he tell King not to let Rangiku dress him up?!

"Thank you so much for trying on the outfits, King!" Rangiku said, clapping her hands together. "They all look so adorable on you!"

"I don't know if Captain Hitsugaya wants to look 'adorable,'" King said, flapping the sleeves of the sweater that he was wearing a little bit. "But they are very comfortable, I believe. There's a 49 percent chance that Captain Hitsugaya will find them comfortable as well."

"What makes you think he won't find it comfortable?" Rangiku asked.

To answer, King pointed to the icy man standing at the door.

Then Rangiku chuckled awkwardly.

"There's a 99 percent probability that Captain Hitsugaya is angered to the point of no return," King deduced.

"100 percent probability," Toshiro growled, "is more like it."

"Captain," Rangiku said uneasily. "Well...you see...it was King's idea."

"MATSUMOTO!"

Only the neighbors knew well enough to leave Orihime's apartment alone when that scream pierced all of Karakura Town.

* * *

**D.T.B: 'I couldn't resist' is an accurate summary of the behind-the-scenes for this little tale. I got to thinking about Toshiro's second outfit of choice – along the lines of 'Rangiku forced it on him when she saw that he only had the one set of clothes' – and this came up. Hopefully, the images made you chuckle a bit. XD **


End file.
